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No One, Alicia Keys.... this was also the last song I danced to with my lady

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THE THOUSANDTH POST

I was planning on making a big deal out of this but in the end this is pretty much all I have time for. Thanks for reading my blog and for all of my faithful followers it means a lot to me that you stop here to journey with me in leading students. I hope everything has been helpful in giving you encouragement to reach wonderful, awesome, and beautiful kids.

#KIDMIN VS #STUMIN

Three of these things belong together, three of these things are kinda the same, but guess which kid is doing his own thing... yeah I'll stop that right now. Anyway, pictured above is Matt McKee, Sam Luce, and Jonathan "Puppet Ministry" Cliff. They're all in children's ministry even though there is no fanny packs pictured! Of course I'm living out the stereotype with the Charlie Hall goat going on.

Last year we were a part of the blogger's bar at the Orange Conference. On the way from the hotel one morning I started a conversation with Cliff about collaboration and children's ministry.

We didn't get to finish the conversation but at least for that car ride to the conference it began to birth some thoughts.

This morning I'm reflecting on that and I've been wanting to do a post on things every Children's Director should know coming from the mouth of a Student Director. The hope is that some energy can be created to birth convo and thinking.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW...

Christmas Eve

Took this shot before walking into the cabin on Christmas Eve.

We're done with 2 boys but I would change my mind if...

I have two sons an 8yr old and a 4 yr old. Cat and I don't want to have anymore kids. This commercial, which is the best one of the holidays though, makes me want to go back on my decision. I would have another if we could have a girl. She would be so tough with two older boys in the house.

Gap Kids 2009 Christmas Commercial

"If" I started a church...

On a weekly basis I will pass by a Bennigan's, Macaroni Grill, or some other kind of restaurant that has closed it's doors. Inside all the tables and chairs, kitchen, host stand, bar, decor, etc. remain. Then I think about how impacted I've been by an accountability partner, small group, or conversation with a friend over food. Friends get together, family has "the" conversation, and things happen over a warm plate and a favorite drink.

Isn't that the kind of community we want? Isn't that when we are best on mission? Conversations. Connectivity. Why do we meet in a huge building with conversation being predominately one way?

If I started a church I would want to lease that restaurant, book local artists to play throughout the weeknights for our guests, hang local artist's works on the wall, serve food and drink, let the waitstaff serve and shepherd, and use the kitchen to feed the homeless as well.

At a Sunday service you come and go as you please. Worship is organic led by a rich vocalists with an acoustic guitar piped throughout the house. The message is meant to be more food for conversation and is delivered every hour with no more than fifteen minutes of content. If you want more thought and teaching for food, go online to our house website and get a second helping. I don't care if your baby cries or your children are standing up in the booth.

Yes we'll get together your children and teens for events and gatherings as well but we don't need the auditorium for that now so why would we want that in my scenario?

Assimilation happens on line or at kiosk's at the front. We'll host your reception and celebrate your marriage. We'll weekly share suggested theology and stir you missionaly to go into the world. This actually would be harder work in my mind than running a traditional north American church.

At the end of the day if I want to love you and build a relationship with you I'm gonna meet you for a meal to start the journey.

P.S. That is not me in the picture. It's my dream church's student pastor getting ready to meet with some kids from the local high school. ha. ha!

Permission to parent...

This image is all too familiar with those of us who are of the age to be a parent. I can remember this moment in 1980 when the unbelievable was revealed. Two people from two different paths and mindsets came fast and hard to one realization... they were family.

The new normal is that everything is abnormal. Teenagers today are experiencing or either have experienced growing up with two different homes because of divorce, parents too busy to engage with intentionality, having to police themselves, and even sometimes policing their mom or dad. Forget that all of it happens under a pressure cooker filled with over extended schedules and accelerated experiences of pain, addiction, uncertainty, and misdirection.

As a youth pastor, I'm guilty of being one who is content with believing that as long as there are no complaints then the program is fine. For me, I have absorbed the absence of connection with parents and our student ministry as a favor to them or as an exchange built on an understanding that has never been stated. In other words, I think mom and dad love that we are there but see the program as something that is for their kids and not necessarily for them. That is until I get that desperate phone call, "Please help Johnny. I don't know what to do."

In all of this there is conflict within me because of the complexity of it all. Every family is uniquely broken. Too often parents feel the tension between being a parent and giving their kids space verses being a parent and totally forgetting that they have a responsibility and a God given authority.

Here are a few things I want to start teaching mom and dad or grandma and grandpa how to do.

1. Confess your mistakes and reconcile the pain. We all need a fresh start. "I am your father" put Luke and dad on a pathway where everyone was walking out of darkness. If you've been absent, willingly, or unwillingly confessing so will be very hard but you will not be able to have credibility until you do so. Give them tangible things that will be better and act swiftly. Do not expect things to change overnight so be willing to turn over a new leaf for the long haul. Regularly check in on how things have become different by simply asking your child if you have failed.

2. Be physical. I have noted many things in 15 years of working with students and one thing that I see over and over again is how "familia" takes the form of the teenager's friends at school. Although some of their behavior is hormonal, students are more physical at school with friends because nobody is physical with them at home. Mom... Dad... hold your teenager, love them, look them in the eye with your hands on their shoulder and speak with your presence the truth that you love them. Being physical also means that you are there... physically.

3. Be honest with them. Some of you are step parents and you're worried about having permission from your new son or daughter to speak truth to them. But to put it bluntly you married your spouse and when you did you married the things they love. Speak to this and intentionally let your new son or daughter know, "I love your mom and I love what she loves. This means I love you. I don't want to take the place of your dad but because I love the things your mom loves and I want to love your mom well I choose to love you with my life, prayers, and future. I am living out this privilege and responsibility with you." Say this every time there is conflict and everytime you have opportunity to until the credit you have been waiting for is there.

4. Love your spouse. Mom... Dad... marriage is a crock to your teenager. You are their only example. Love and pursue each other with everything you have. Choose to pursue with reckless abandon romance, commitment, dating, and communication. Your kids are watching and absorbing with impending application how they will treat marriage, the opposite sex, and their children.

There might be more than this down the road. What are some things that you want to help mom and dad with in your ministry?

my favorite and most important ministry

This is a game we play on... 

the trampoline. It works... 

like this, I sit in the middle 

and they run around the 

outside. I win if, I can take

their picture. I luv this.

You're my son and I'm proud of you.

This is my seven year old, Cameron. Cameron trusted Christ over a year ago and this past week he took the plunge. 

"God, you know my heart and don't need this blog but as I pray to you in a voice that can be heard across the world continue to give my son a passion for you and an unquenchable will to obey you regardless the cost. When he strays from you stalk him with your love and wreck his life until he returns. This is your child and I am humbled you would let me love him. May all my friends who know me pray this for him too." - Amen

Our Lab

I came across this picture of a black Lab which you must agree is a pretty sick picture. It reminded me that I haven't told you about our recent addition to the family. The boys have been begging for a dog and we finally found Zoe. Zoe will be looking a lot like this dog one day and then maybe I will try to replicate this picture but for now she's a small fry seen pictured further below.




Do you see the size of Zoe's paw? Forget about it!

swanzy clan

thug playa

thug hood

thug lady

so thug good!

Orange Conference Privilege

I'm pretty stoked about an invite I got to be a part of the "Blogging Room" for the Orange Conference. When I read this list I'm thinking, "How did I get to be mentioned with this incredible crew?"

Carlos Whittaker – Production Director, Buckhead Church, GA

Twitter: loswhit
Blog: ragamuffinsoul.com (although, he is on blogatical right now…)

Jon Acuff – Creative Writer, GA
Twitter: prodigaljohn
Blog: stuffchristianslike.net, prodigaljohn.com, 97SecondsWithGod.com

Ben Arment – Director, Catalyst West Coast, GA
Twitter: BenArment
Blog: benarment.com

Brad Lomenick – Executive Director, Catalyst, GA
Twitter: bradlomenick
Blog: bradlomenick.com

JC Thompson – Elem. Production Director, Brookwood Church, SC
Twitter: jcsonline
Blog: jcsonline.wordpress.com

Kenny Conley – Next Generation Pastor, Gateway Church, TX
Twitter: kennyconley
Blog: childrensministryonline.com

Matt Mckee – Pastor of Students and Children, Horizon Community Church, OH
Twitter: mattmckee
Blog: mckeelive.com

Jonathan Cliff – Children’s Pastor, Trinity Church, TX
Twitter: jonathancliff
Blog: jonathancliff.com

Sam Luce – Children’s Ministry Director, Mt. Zion Ministries Church, NY
Twitter: samluce
Blog: samluce.com

Gina McLain – LifeKids Pastor, LifeChurch.tv, OK
Twitter: jabberfrog
Blog: jabberfrog.com

Chad Swanzy – Student Ministries Pastor, Gateway Church, TX
Twitter: theuprisinglive
Blog: chadswanzy.blogspot.com

Rick Smith – Youth Speaker, Seminary Student, TX
Twitter: Rick_Smith
Blog: rickwsmith.com

Anna Meadows – Associate Youth Pastor, LifeChurch.tv, OK
Twitter: anna_meadows
Blog: annameadows.com

John Saddington – Creative Web Director, North Point Ministries, GA
Twitter: human3rror
Blog: human3rror.com, churchcrunch.com

Chris Szulwach - Associate Pastor - Sudent Ministry Liverpool Community Church

Twitter:http://twitter.com/CoffeeWithChris

Blog: http://CoffeeWithChris.com , http://YouthMinBlog.com

Over the next few weeks I will be bloggin about the topics and conversations We're gonna have at the conference. It's not too late to register. Also, if you're going... leave me a comment!

check out my chica

This is "me lady." She has been with me forever in the thick and through the thin. She is an incredible small group leader and loves students in a way that speaks truth, leads strong, and magnifies Jesus. I love her... the best thing I have to offer.

So check out what my 81 year old grandfather wrote on my facebook page today...

Today

Tom Autry wrote at 12:51pm We are doing ok for old folks, I go back to doctor next Wed, then he will say when my test will be done. LOL

"LOL"  - Awesome.

do you live in south florida?

Hey friends in south florida...

If ever there was a weekend that you needed to be going to church it would be this weekend. More specifically you need to go to Flamingo Road Church in Fort Lauderdale, Doral, Hallandale Beach, Sawgrass, & Cooper City. If you can't make it to those locations then you need to jump online and be there via the internet. www.flamingoroadchurch.com

Don't miss this Weekend! from Flamingo Road Church on Vimeo.

Team Leader Video and relational ministry

I hardly have time to blog lately. The thing that is keeping me from doing it is how deeply committed to relationships and community Gateway is. This is one of the most relationally committed churches I have ever been a part of. It stretches me in ways that honestly were pretty dormant within me. I have done a lot of programming to foster community, create community, and grow community but Gateway's approach to No Perfect People Allowed is extremely challenging. They give us one day a month to take as a solitude day because of the relational intensity. I wish I could tell you more but I got to run. I leave you with a team leader intro video we will use for Fallout this year.

Who reigns in first grade?

Check out Cameron heading to class for the first day of school.

Cameron's First Day of First Grade from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

John Burke and Soul Revolution

So you googled John Burke or Gateway Community Church or maybe even Soul Revolution because you are at the Leadership Summit and want to know more about what John said. Well, my name is Chad Swanzy. I have been in student ministry for 14 years and have worked for a variety of leaders and I want you to know that John is the real deal. What he is saying, writing, and promoting is actually taking place. What you see is what you get from John. As the student ministries director at Gateway Community Church I'm so glad I work with a relational pastor who has cared about me and others in a way that honors God and makes Jesus famous. He is not a recluse, introvert, or gifted speaker who talks about things he doesn't even practice. Quite the opposite is true. John loves people, his staff, the community, and the lost. If you have any questions about how we are doing the student ministry version of Soul Revolution let me know.

Priorities

Is there anything that should be more important to us than to be the best parents we can be as we serve God? We often underestimate the value of being a Christ following parent who keeps his children as the focus of his greatest work and gift to God. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about how much energy I am using in student ministry, leadership, thinking, and in the church that I have to remind myself that my kids deserve so much more of me. Running myself into the ground and giving everything I have for God that I ignore the needs of my kid or neglect them in the process does NOT come from God or will ever be excusable. 

Being a dad and raising incredible kids is just as much of a stewardship and gift from God as it is to lead a ministry or shepherd a church. The reality is that while we are parenting our kids we are instilling in them an impression of who God is. Is God too busy? Is he impatient? Aloof? Unresponsive? Unkind? Unloving? Absent? Obviously not. Believe me when I say that if that is how we lead our home the price will be too high for us to pay in the end some day. If you've found yourself in a place where you do not know who you are as a parent anymore you need to ask yourself some serious questions. Be honest with your employer. Bring accountability in your life and ask them to weekly ask you how much time you spent with your kids, spouse, and not just that but also what you did. If you think God will not ask you what you did with your kids as a parent you are gravely mistaken. 

Boerne, Texas Younglife

Friday afternoon Cat and I loaded up the car, the boys, and some memories to head into the Hill Country of Texas. Long over due we finally carved out some time to visit our friends in Boerne Texas. Boerne is a beautiful town on the outskirts of San Antonio. Cat and I spent four years there in a church plant with student ministry adn we also worked on part time staff with Wyldlife. Our friends the Patchells are still chasing after teens and loving on them where they are at. While we were there we also bumped into some of our Wyldlife leaders and it was very energizing to me to think about all of the great stories we have been able to be a part of. I am grateful that God has always allowed me to be in a place where we can love and care about kids.