Sir, some are very indifferent and some care about others. It does upset me, the lack of spiritual immaturity, do you have a list of steps to start turning it around. I feel like I am doing a bad job. I pour my heart out to them and they don't get it?
First, God is not surprised nor did it catch him off guard that you are shepherding the students he has given you. So often we think that the condition of those around us are a direct reflection of our leadership but when we take things to an extreme it's very much the opposite of Matthew 11:30.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
If everything in your student ministry was perfect would you take the credit for it? No, you would give God the glory. It would be ridiculous to assume it had to do with your prolific speaking ability, incredible team management skills, or your relevant frame of mind. It would be prideful for you to talk like that.
This is harder to absorb than to apply but it's the same way when you feel insufficient as a leader. In other words you are saying, "God, I don't like the circumstances around me or how things are with the program. This is not how I would have had things be." It's like we're expecting God to say, "You're right. You're a total failure at this. I can't work with you." Does that sound like your Lord God talking to you?
That's us talking for God believing that everything that happens is dependent on us. I am so familiar with this because I have to fight it in my own life all of the time.
The life of a teenager is a roller coaster on steroids. You have to trust God completely and have a frame of mind that understands the reality that he is in control. You are more like a pioneer than a developer. You are exploring new territory with them in their life and acting as a guide. You cannot make them do what they don't want to do. This is why the work of the Holy Spirit is so important. This is also the reason why relational ministry is the highest impacting style of ministry that you can endeavour to do. It is also the hardest style.
Some practical tips.
1. Do not think that every student in your group should want to grow. This is not plausible. Some are in process, some are committed, and some are unaware.
2. Never think about what you don't have. Think about what you do have. If you rministry has maybe only 2-3 students who are teachable, hungry, and faithful you grab those kids and help them be light to the others.
3. Don't leave the others behind. If 30% of the group is moving toward Jesus you can cultivate that but if the other 70% are not you still have a responsibility to love them where they are at and help them take that next step no matter how small.
4. Have you clearly defined the steps?
Example: Some of you in this room have crossed that line toward God. You came for awhile asking questions and thinking but now you are totally on board and have made what Christ did on the cross count for you. If you've done that your next step is to identify yourself with Christ in this community. So you've got to let one of us know so that we can get you plugged in.
*** Make that step easy.***
I will be in the back tonight to talk to anyone who has questions or who wants to talk about that line. If you don;t have time tonight you can email me.
5. Think about their next step.
Example: Savanah, I'm so proud of you. You're going to continue to have questions and things that will stretch you like this step did. You need to come to Julie's house on Tuesday night. Carol, Diane, Cody, and Christina go as well. All we do is have talks over dinner about our day, stuff we like, and faith. I'm gonna call you on Tuesday after school? Do you need a ride?
6. Environments. This is pretty much all we do in student ministry. We create environments for people to take that next step. Here's the deal aout environments.. you can't do several things in the same environment. Don't try to reach the non-believer and at the same time feed the believer. You're not going to do both at the same time very well. Creating seperate environments for this will help you with energy and expectations.
7. They are getting it. God is not a liar and he promised that his Word will not return void. It's extremely powerful. Seriously.
Isaiah 55:11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.
I got a couple of books below that I'm reccomending to you.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
If everything in your student ministry was perfect would you take the credit for it? No, you would give God the glory. It would be ridiculous to assume it had to do with your prolific speaking ability, incredible team management skills, or your relevant frame of mind. It would be prideful for you to talk like that.
This is harder to absorb than to apply but it's the same way when you feel insufficient as a leader. In other words you are saying, "God, I don't like the circumstances around me or how things are with the program. This is not how I would have had things be." It's like we're expecting God to say, "You're right. You're a total failure at this. I can't work with you." Does that sound like your Lord God talking to you?
That's us talking for God believing that everything that happens is dependent on us. I am so familiar with this because I have to fight it in my own life all of the time.
The life of a teenager is a roller coaster on steroids. You have to trust God completely and have a frame of mind that understands the reality that he is in control. You are more like a pioneer than a developer. You are exploring new territory with them in their life and acting as a guide. You cannot make them do what they don't want to do. This is why the work of the Holy Spirit is so important. This is also the reason why relational ministry is the highest impacting style of ministry that you can endeavour to do. It is also the hardest style.
Some practical tips.
1. Do not think that every student in your group should want to grow. This is not plausible. Some are in process, some are committed, and some are unaware.
2. Never think about what you don't have. Think about what you do have. If you rministry has maybe only 2-3 students who are teachable, hungry, and faithful you grab those kids and help them be light to the others.
3. Don't leave the others behind. If 30% of the group is moving toward Jesus you can cultivate that but if the other 70% are not you still have a responsibility to love them where they are at and help them take that next step no matter how small.
4. Have you clearly defined the steps?
Example: Some of you in this room have crossed that line toward God. You came for awhile asking questions and thinking but now you are totally on board and have made what Christ did on the cross count for you. If you've done that your next step is to identify yourself with Christ in this community. So you've got to let one of us know so that we can get you plugged in.
*** Make that step easy.***
I will be in the back tonight to talk to anyone who has questions or who wants to talk about that line. If you don;t have time tonight you can email me.
5. Think about their next step.
Example: Savanah, I'm so proud of you. You're going to continue to have questions and things that will stretch you like this step did. You need to come to Julie's house on Tuesday night. Carol, Diane, Cody, and Christina go as well. All we do is have talks over dinner about our day, stuff we like, and faith. I'm gonna call you on Tuesday after school? Do you need a ride?
6. Environments. This is pretty much all we do in student ministry. We create environments for people to take that next step. Here's the deal aout environments.. you can't do several things in the same environment. Don't try to reach the non-believer and at the same time feed the believer. You're not going to do both at the same time very well. Creating seperate environments for this will help you with energy and expectations.
7. They are getting it. God is not a liar and he promised that his Word will not return void. It's extremely powerful. Seriously.
Isaiah 55:11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.
I got a couple of books below that I'm reccomending to you.
1 comments:
This is some great advice. The best thing we can do for our kids is to be real. Thanks!
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