Okay, so when I teach students I first sit down with co-teachers and prepare the teaching schedule for the upcoming season so that we have calendared at least five months in advance the topics. Doing this allows me to hold loosely the subjects and movements we take our students thru in my heart and head.

As the time to teach approaches I usually sit down about 2-3 days before the talk time and Google the topic or idea. I also call the othr teachers and bounce things off of them. I pray and I read passages on the topic. The other thing I do is utilize google reader. I have about 123 subscriptions and because I know what's coming up far in advance I always make a point to save content that I can use in an upcoming talk.

For high school students I tackle the topic by answering two questions and building the talk around the two questions.

Why does this matter or why is this a problem?

In this first part of the talk I want the students to go on a journey with me. I have invited them on the bus and we are headed toward a place they have not been to before. So when I open the door to the bus I'm saying, where the bus is headed and why they want to go there.

This is where the intro and story builds energy for them to say in their heart, "I see what you see and I want to go with you in your talk." They have to have motive and desire to take a potential step.

Next question... so, what do I do about it or what is my next step?

After building the case for why the journey is so important or why it's gonna matter I bring them to the point of awareness on the way things shouldn't be or the way things could be. People are motivate to change pretty much on two pivot points; pain in their life or the need to be loved or feel pleasure. By pleasure I mean fulfillment, happiness, peace. "This topic is important because this pain is not intended for you" or "this topic is important because taking steps toward it is where you will come to understand God's love or plan for you." Does this make sense?

Again, now that I have told them why the talk matters and what it is taking them away from or toward I then tell them the "So what" portion.

This is where there is application. It is pretty basic in the talk too. My transition is not very creative. "So what do I do about this?" or "So how do I take that step?" or "So, how do I quit or let go?" or "So what does God want me to do with this?"

When I answer this question I usually give two answers with clearly defined steps that they can actually do. The two answers are for two seperate people. It goes like this, "So if you're a student in here and you're not sure what you think about God or you're still processing you don't have to be a rocket scientist or even a God follower to agree with what I'm saying. This is just good common sense. So in your chair or there on the floor the next step for you is to consider 'fill in the blank.'" Then the next answer is for the believer, "If you're a student here and you have stepped over that line in your heart and made what Christ did on the cross count for you, God wants you to understand that the pain you feel is intended to help you turn to him so rather than take matters into your own hands you need to start sitting down and 'fill in the blank.'"

Even after we're done teaching, the lesson continues as we always have students come up afterward to talk about the topic and their pain or void. You need that environment as well.

Now, with middle school, I do all of those things above with the exception that the group, talk 8-10 minutes, deals with the first question, "Why does this matter?" The second question, "What do I do now?" Is handled in small groups by the leaders.

I have four teachers I am developing in our ministry. I have only taught three times this year so far as I am wanting to build into the future with the other teachers. All of the teachers have to type their talk out. I have one teacher who doesn't. He journals the talk. I have three guys who teach and one girl. I would have more girls but for now she is the only one who has raised her hand expressing the desire to do a talk.

I don't know how they use their notes but for me I read them over and over again to memorize the flow and then right before the talk I write next to content single words on the margin to turn to in the talk if I forget. The single word helps me associate real quick the content that has escaped my head.

I write out the scripture and read it from the lesson. It's always highlighted. I do not try to have a bunch of bookmars in a Bible that I have to thumb thru.

Thanks for the questions. I hope this helps.

I don't know your community well but regardless of what they are like the best thing you can do for yourself is to bring your youth leaders in on your intentions and why you feel it will add to the program. Make sure your reason is clear. Ask them if they object, have any questions, or if they are even opposed. You can do this as a group of leaders or in one on one meetings. They have been there longer than you and their collective voice can help you in some instances like this. Parents if upset will always go to other parents, your youth leaders they have buy in with, or your boss. When they do it should not take your pastor by surprise and your youth leaders need to be able to represent you on your position to them.

We use secular music not just with the games but even in our worship sets. My filter for selection is based on language and provacitive suggestion. If a song contains one of them then we don't use it. For us we can instantly create energy with fast paced music. We can also convey a topic's distress or feel with a song they know. It helps us break down walls.

Express your filter.
Express your intent.
Bring key people on board.

Here is a list of recent songs we've used in games.

Be Somebody
Brick By Boring Brick
Don't You (Forget About Me)
Down
Evacuate The Dancefloor
Fireflies
Hey Ya!
I Would Die 4 U
I'm So Sick
It's Not Unusual
Love Story
Major Tom
Meet Me Halfway
No One
Party In the U.S.A.
The Safety Dance
Viva La Vida
You Found Me

First, God is not surprised nor did it catch him off guard that you are shepherding the students he has given you. So often we think that the condition of those around us are a direct reflection of our leadership but when we take things to an extreme it's very much the opposite of Matthew 11:30.

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

If everything in your student ministry was perfect would you take the credit for it? No, you would give God the glory. It would be ridiculous to assume it had to do with your prolific speaking ability, incredible team management skills, or your relevant frame of mind. It would be prideful for you to talk like that.

This is harder to absorb than to apply but it's the same way when you feel insufficient as a leader. In other words you are saying, "God, I don't like the circumstances around me or how things are with the program. This is not how I would have had things be." It's like we're expecting God to say, "You're right. You're a total failure at this. I can't work with you." Does that sound like your Lord God talking to you?

That's us talking for God believing that everything that happens is dependent on us. I am so familiar with this because I have to fight it in my own life all of the time.

The life of a teenager is a roller coaster on steroids. You have to trust God completely and have a frame of mind that understands the reality that he is in control. You are more like a pioneer than a developer. You are exploring new territory with them in their life and acting as a guide. You cannot make them do what they don't want to do. This is why the work of the Holy Spirit is so important. This is also the reason why relational ministry is the highest impacting style of ministry that you can endeavour to do. It is also the hardest style.

Some practical tips.
1. Do not think that every student in your group should want to grow. This is not plausible. Some are in process, some are committed, and some are unaware.
2. Never think about what you don't have. Think about what you do have. If you rministry has maybe only 2-3 students who are teachable, hungry, and faithful you grab those kids and help them be light to the others.
3. Don't leave the others behind. If 30% of the group is moving toward Jesus you can cultivate that but if the other 70% are not you still have a responsibility to love them where they are at and help them take that next step no matter how small.
4. Have you clearly defined the steps?
Example: Some of you in this room have crossed that line toward God. You came for awhile asking questions and thinking but now you are totally on board and have made what Christ did on the cross count for you. If you've done that your next step is to identify yourself with Christ in this community. So you've got to let one of us know so that we can get you plugged in.
*** Make that step easy.***
I will be in the back tonight to talk to anyone who has questions or who wants to talk about that line. If you don;t have time tonight you can email me.
5. Think about their next step.
Example: Savanah, I'm so proud of you. You're going to continue to have questions and things that will stretch you like this step did. You need to come to Julie's house on Tuesday night. Carol, Diane, Cody, and Christina go as well. All we do is have talks over dinner about our day, stuff we like, and faith. I'm gonna call you on Tuesday after school? Do you need a ride?
6. Environments. This is pretty much all we do in student ministry. We create environments for people to take that next step. Here's the deal aout environments.. you can't do several things in the same environment. Don't try to reach the non-believer and at the same time feed the believer. You're not going to do both at the same time very well. Creating seperate environments for this will help you with energy and expectations.
7. They are getting it. God is not a liar and he promised that his Word will not return void. It's extremely powerful. Seriously.

Isaiah 55:11 So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.

I got a couple of books below that I'm reccomending to you.

You should not be disappointed in the growth of the group numerically. Take a deep breath and think through the students you have. Where are they at in their faith? If you feel they are growing, what are the elements you are gauging their growth by? As much as you want them to reach out to their friends and influences you also want them to equally love God and love others.

At the purest form of numeric growth there is the basics. The basics are that Christ died for our sins and is risen. The Great Commandment is God's way of telling us that there is a mission and we get to be used in it. Are your students excited about that? Where are the gauges or evidence that this permeates their thoughts, words, and actions? How are they loving each other and pushing each other toward Jesus and how are they loving the lost and being a light that pushes back darkness?

If they are on mission in their spiritual growth and looking for where Jesus is working it may not mean that their friends will darken the door but it will probably mean that you will meet them and that your kids will speak of them when you ask.

Eventually you will want growing influence for the kids you lead and the kids they are trying to reach within your program. If your students begin to act indifferent or are not concerned with other people outside of the group, act exclusive, or become a clique then this is when you need to be upset. Indifferece is unacceptable and quite honestly a sign of spiritual immaturity.

Great question! I will do my best to answer it.

First step... create your filter for the baggage. You refer to baggage and we all have it. It's going to be hard for you to completely dismiss previous scars. Depending on the depth of your baggage though you may need to talk to someone outside of where you came from and where you are going. It can't be your spouse or family alone. Someone you trust and someone you know who is not going to tell you what you want to hear. They should also be someone who can be the go to each week for the first year of your tenure at your new church. That might sound overwhelming but you know how hard it is in ministry and pain usually comes in slow building layers that if left unchecked will demand to be unleashed and usually at the surprise of everyone around you. With the baggage outlet you hopefully will be able to give the new people in your life credit that the others took from you or that you took from yourself. It is not their fault nor have they been where you came from so those two points should speak loud and clearly to you as you buld relationships with them. When things surface from them that look a lot like where you came from and the pain you went through arises you will be able to have someone to bounce it off of until you feel more secure. Always consider yourself the source of your own fears in the way you receive people or new environments.

Second step...strip it down to the basics. Before you arrive you need to write down the top five things that matter the most with you in student ministry. It can be form, function, substance, or vision. When the list is finished you have to pick only three. These are the only three things you're going to try to accomplish, birth, or change in the first two years. Three is plenty. This is also the only three things you will talk about. Examples: relational ministry, big events, trainning. Now, don't act on them until you've spent your first six months worth of energy in step three.

Step three... listen to what they say and what they don't say. Bring your team together and let them know that you're only interested in knowing them as individuals in the beginning but that as a group there will be hanging out and coming together around what's already happening in student ministry. You want to meet with each person seperately at least 3 times within that first six months depending on how big the team is. If you can meet more great but have balance and give everyone equal distribution of your time and energy. What are you doing over a cup of coffee? Listening. Listen to what they say when they talk about their family, Christ, the church. ministry. Everyone is going to have a ton of ideas and some will be more excited than others to hear what you have to say but you don't know them and they really don't know you. When they answer a question you need to extract as much as you can out of them when it comes to passion and what they wish they could do. Pay paticular attention to people who talk about the three things you wrote on your list and to the people who didn't. You're not keeping score but instead identifying potential people to lead thru or cultivate more. Somewhere between 4-6 months you can start to make changes. Think also about the teams you want to have in the program and who is in the room that can lead them. You're going to find out these things as you talk to them.

*** Also, if people leave right before or right after you get there don't take it personal. A lot of times people use a change in leadership to go ahead and act on something they have already been thinking that they will do. Nobody if they come in listening and building community should deserve the blame if people bolt.

Here are some questions.
What made you want to get involved in youth ministry?
What do you do? - This is probably the single most identifying question. Listen to this answer because it will be answered with emotional attachment and sense of worth or value to the team.
What do you wish you could do?
Who are some students you connect with?
What kind of student do you not connect well with?
Get them also to talk aout their family?
This is a question you need to ask as well... Tell me how you first started your journey toward God?
What do you think is the most important thing we do as a youth group?
Use these phrases... tell me more, explain that. (Get in their head.)

Hey... if I didn't answer your question well let me know and tell me how I can help you more. Great question but I'm running out of blog.

I have no restrictions. Camp is always a missional endeavour for us. Our retreats go deeper but even there we have no restrictions. I only put restrictions on a missions trip. We always have students who come to camp and have never been to our program before. This always amazes me. As long as they agree with the rules they are good to go.

On this note I do have one rule and that is that I never give a student a full ride. Ever. I can find work for a student or help them earn money. If they have worked hard we will pay the rest for what they owe but we have an application for scholarship and a cap on what we can distribute.

When they go for free and then whip out the wad of cash at Burger King on the way while sporting their brand new pair of kicks you always get this uneasy feeling.

Every year though I have that one kid who does deserve help and wants to work to get it. Usually that kid also doesn't want to ask for help. Hope this helps. Keep 'em coming.